Dear San Francisco

Yes.  That IS what you think it is.

Hey!  I just wanted to let you know that I found the present that you got for me.  And also to say “Thank you”.  How thoughtful!  But how did you know that I would be walking up Polk Street today?  I thought it was a little strange that you would leave a present like this perched atop a decapitated parking meter, in full view of all passersby.  Weren’t you a little worried that someone might steal it before I found it?  Not that I’m one to look a gift horse in the mouth.  Or a gift bud, as the case may be.

I have to say that this is a major improvement on your past gifts. I mean those parking tickets that you left under my windshield–those were a real pain to deal with. And pretty darn expensive, too!  And the occasional nasty note because you didn’t like the way I parked?  Well, those were pretty mean.   Really, those could barely be considered presents at all!  So maybe this is your way of making up for all of that.  I appreciate the gesture.

But uhhhh… next time you want to give me a gift, how about something a little more… pedestrian?  And by “pedestrian”, I do not mean leaving it on the sidewalk.