Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I found the present that you got for me. And also to say “Thank you”. How thoughtful! But how did you know that I would be walking up Polk Street today? I thought it was a little strange that you would leave a present like this perched atop a decapitated parking meter, in full view of all passersby. Weren’t you a little worried that someone might steal it before I found it? Not that I’m one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or a gift bud, as the case may be.
I have to say that this is a major improvement on your past gifts. I mean those parking tickets that you left under my windshield–those were a real pain to deal with. And pretty darn expensive, too! And the occasional nasty note because you didn’t like the way I parked? Well, those were pretty mean. Really, those could barely be considered presents at all! So maybe this is your way of making up for all of that. I appreciate the gesture.
But uhhhh… next time you want to give me a gift, how about something a little more… pedestrian? And by “pedestrian”, I do not mean leaving it on the sidewalk.